How to divorce amicably

In this article, our divorce solicitors we take a look at the question of how to divorce amicably and the steps that can be taken to avoid confrontation and have an amicable divorce.

Messy, nightmare, and battle are all words used by the media to describe headline divorces. Previously this was not helped by the fault-based system which quite often resulted in a blaming game. Having a divorce or separation does not need to be bitter. The introduction of the no-fault divorce, or no blame divorce, which came into effect in April 2022, has helped contribute to removing the blame and conflict, and can answer the question of how to get a quick divorce.

Going through a divorce or separation can be a highly emotional and sensitive time. The breakdown of a marriage or relationship will have an impact on both parties and any children involved. Where there are children involved, having an amicable divorce will help to build a foundation for being able to communicate in the future. Focusing on the future can help you to work out what is really important to you. Having a good relationship with your ex-partner will be important for many, being able to attend important family occasions such as children’s graduation or weddings without animosity will make life a lot easier.

The benefits of an amicable separation or divorce

• Benefits for children
  Children adapt well to change but not to hostility between their parents. Whilst it is upsetting for them to see their parents no longer together, they will want them to be happy and if you can remain on good terms with each other your children will benefit. It will ensure any decisions that need to be made about, or for, the children will be much easier.
• Minimise your legal costs
  Legal costs can often be a real concern to parties when deciding whether to commence divorce proceedings. Remaining amicable keeps costs to a minimum as it is the arguing and potential delays that often costs the money in respect of legal fees. If you can reach your own agreement, then you remain in control of your financial future and your divorce solicitor can make sure this is a fair settlement.
• Make it legally binding
  It is important to place any financial agreement into a Court Order which is often referred to as a Consent Order. This is a legally binding agreement and ensures that both parties are committed to what has been decided during the separation. If there is no Consent Order in place then either party can make a financial claim against the other even after you have divorced. This is the case until either party remarries. It is therefore incredibly important to make sure any agreement is placed into a Court Order to avoid any arguments in the future perhaps, when new partners are on the scene.

Amicable Divorce Checklist

What steps can you take to keep matters amicable?

• Honesty – honesty is key to maintaining an amicable relationship. Being honest in all aspects of the divorce can assist, whether it is being open about your finances or your feelings. If you are not honest about your finances, this will cause animosity in the long-term and lengthen the process. If you are struggling to deal with matters, matters would progress more easily if you are honest and explain that you need a little bit longer to deal with or process any information.
• Compromise – within divorce, there are no winners or losers. When you divorce you will often go from one household with two incomes to two separate households with one income. Often there is not enough assets or money to provide each person with the same standard of living. Therefore, compromise is key. It is important to figure out what is most important to you for your long-term goals.
• Communication - being able to communicate and have discussions between yourselves can prevent matters from becoming contentious and therefore keep legal costs down.

How can a solicitor help you to achieve an amicable divorce?

• Expert advice - obtaining initial legal advice can help you to understand your legal position from the outset and assist you in reaching a fair settlement. This means that will have a realistic expectation from the start.
• Mediation – mediation can be useful. There will be a mutual exchange of financial information from both parties. Mediators are often not legally trained and therefore, after exchanging financial information it is important to take legal advice. We can advise you on the parameters on a fair and reasonable settlement.
• Reaching an agreement – if mediation is either not suitable or successful, we can help you deal with matters by way of voluntary disclosure and solicitor led-negotiations. Once an agreement has been reached we can draw up a consent order which is submitted to the court to dismiss all future claims.

How can Holmes & Hills help?

How to divorce amicably? At Holmes & Hills, our specialist family solicitors adhere to Resolution’s code of practice, this means we work in a non-confrontational way to assist you in resolving any family issues you may have. Working in this way can help to reduce conflict.

Keeping matters amicable and out of court helps you to achieve a settlement which is in your best interest. It also means that matters will be dealt with more efficiently and legal costs are therefore limited. This can alleviate what already is an emotional time by removing the additional stress of going through the courts.

Amicable divorce lawyers

If your marriage or relationship has broken down and you require assistance please book an initial fixed-fee consultation with one of our specialist family law solicitors.

At this appointment, your family lawyer will ask for detail of the issues you are facing, and provide bespoke advice tailored to your own specific situation, with options of how to progress.