“’Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring…..”ahh, that well loved Christmas poem. Yes, that time of year is once again fast approaching; but what if it isn’t all happy families? Don’t leave the arrangements for Christmas contact with children until the last minute, or rather than sleeping soundly with the mice you will be pacing the floor worried that your Christmas will end up more ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ than ‘Miracle on 34th Street’.
Ok, so enough of the literally and film references but what should you do so you all have a Happy Christmas. Trying to ensure the children have quality time with both you and your partner over the Christmas and New Year break can be both trying and angst ridden. In an attempt to try and limit/prevent any difficulties, it is best to plan arrangements well in advance. Do your best to try and discuss matters amicably with your former spouse/partner and give thought to the wishes and feelings of the children. Remember that the children want to spend time with you both and you both want to spend time with them.
If you are considering an arrangement then consider if you would be happy with it? If you would, then suggest alternating the arrangements each year. As the old adage goes “if you can’t say anything nice – then don’t say anything at all”, this is especially true of separated parents. Whatever your feelings for your former spouse/partner, the children love them and derogatory comments will only upset them. Any parental breakdown is hard for children but you can make it easier – they still need a relationship with you both and you are both as important to them, so try and encourage your children to buy a present for their other parent, or let them have a little money so that they can purchase a present for them.
Remember, Christmas is just another day and you can make any day as special. So whatever day(s) the children are spending with you can and will be Christmas for them. It is hard to imagine too many children being upset by the prospect of two Christmases! Christmas is a time for children, so make the time you have with them child focused and don’t dwell on any unresolved issues you have with your former spouse/partner.
What if you just can’t reach an agreement? Then Holmes & Hills Solicitors can help. We will try to negotiate an amicable and fair arrangement on your behalf. We can advise you on the law and what are appropriate arrangements in the eyes of the Court. Although we hope it’s unnecessary, should Court proceedings be needed then we can advise, support and represent you throughout the process.
Holmes & Hills’ team of Family Law solicitors offer a fixed-fee appointment. This time allows a qualified family law specialist to fully understand your current situation and family dynamics. We can then provide the advice you need for your individual circumstances and on the law.
Once contact is agreed then its one less thing to keep you awake at night and you can focus on organising the rest of your Christmas.
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